Retreat is my default setting. It is where I most want to be and from where I 'venture forth' in selected ways. I love space and silence and thinking - and with plenty of that I am better equipped to engage meaningfully (and selectively) with friends, whanau, community...
In the meantime I read Anthony Storr's Solitude: A return to the self which suggests that "solitude ranks alongside relationships in its impact on an individual's well-being and productivity" (blurb). While Storr's book didn't offer me quite what I was looking for, it led to a post-Christmas discussion with a friend about the distinction between solitude and loneliness and a recommendation to read Petrarch's edited letters. Finally, I finished Marilynne Robinson's Home yesterday (I am now re-reading Gilead, for more about which see http://headoftheharbour.blogspot.com/2009/09/marilynne-robinson.html) and in googling Robinson I came across the following interview excerpt. The full interview is at http://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/5863/the-art-of-fiction-no-198-marilynne-robinson
I don’t think I could want something else. For instance, I’m kind of a solitary. This would not satisfy everyone’s hopes, but for me it’s a lovely thing. I recognize the satisfactions of a more socially enmeshed existence than I cultivate, but I go days without hearing another human voice and never notice it. I never fear it. The only thing I fear is the intensity of my attachment to it. It’s a predisposition in my family. My brother is a solitary. My mother is a solitary. I grew up with the confidence that the greatest privilege was to be alone and have all the time you wanted. That was the cream of existence. I owe everything that I have done to the fact that I am very much at ease being alone. It’s a good predisposition in a writer. And books are good company. Nothing is more human than a book.
And I went yes, yes, YES!!!!!! More to come on this.....
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